


A Wedged Bird In Great Tightness

by redreaper86



Category: The Batman (Movie 2021)
Genre: 2022 Riddlebird, Colin Farrell Penguin, Ed Is A Little Shit, Established Relationship, M/M, Paul Dano Riddler, Short One Shot, Teasing, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:07:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27294673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redreaper86/pseuds/redreaper86
Summary: When Oswald gets stuck, Edward is right there to help his bird. After he finishes teasing him, that is.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35





	A Wedged Bird In Great Tightness

When Edward heard his name called in an exceedingly irritated and slightly panicked tone by his plumaged paramour, he fairly flew from the attaching garage (which he was setting up to be his make-shift workshop) and into Oswald's den where the voice had emenated. The sight that greeted him when he got there caused him to double over with laughter. For there was his bird stuck fast between the heavy oaken desk and the bookshelves, evidently having misjudged the size of the space between the two.

"Shut up, Ed," Oswald snapped. He was adorably red in the face, both from excursion and embarrassment. "What possessed the movers to jam this desk so close to the bookshelves, I'll never know. I should throw them to the sharks."

"Hmm, it's not really that close, actually," Ed tilted his head, observing the space with a scientific eye. "I could probably fit through there."

"No _shit_ , genius," Oswald spat, not at all amused. "In case you haven't noticed, we aren't exactly the same size."

Ed bit his lip to suppress a smile at this gross understatement. "Have you tried writhing your body really hard?"

The vein in Oswald's forehead was starting to throb. "Gee, I never even _thought_ of that, Edward. Never even crossed my _mind_ 'til you suggested it."

Edward had a hell of a time keeping a straight face in the light of Oswald's blistering sarcasm. "That's what you've got me for," he said sweetly. "To give you advice in these...tight situations you might get yourself into."

If looks could kill Ed would be a dead man given the poisonous glare Oswald leveled at him. "Edward Nashton, you get over here right now and help me out of this, or I'll --"

"Or you'll what, huh?" Edward let the smug grin he had been suppressing spread across his face. "What're you gonna do exactly, wedged as you are?"

"Fuck you, Ed," Oswald growled, squirming some more, much to the younger man's perverse delight.

"That's not a threat!" Ed crowed now, dissolving into laughter. "That's a reward! You are terrible at this game, Ozzie."

"Edward, _please_..." Oswald rolled his eyes to the ceiling, a gesture quite familiar to Ed by now, especially in response to the latter's antics.

"Oh, alright, since you asked so nicely." Edward sauntered over to Oswald and gently took hold of the older man's waist.

"Put some back into it," Oswald snapped, his cheeks turning a fetching shade of magenta. "I'm really stuck here."

" _Grrrumm-py_..." Ed sang. Then he grinned wickedly. "Bet I can make you smile again, birdie." He wiggled his fingers before Oswald's face.

"Don't you do it, Edward," Oswald warned, his dark eyes watching every twitch of those long powerful digits.

"Don't do what?" Ed widened his own eyes innocently. "Don't do this?" His hand darted forward and tweaked Oswald's side which only had a thin layer of dress shirt protecting the sensitive flesh underneath, causing the older man to squirm, curse, and grab for Ed's hand which he withdrew as quick as anything. "How about this? Or this?"

With every 'this' Ed pinched or poked a new spot on his trapped bird's squishy midsection, staying just out of reach, all the while poor Oswald nearly asphyxiated from laughing and swearing. Edward was having the time of his life until Oswald gave an almighty writhe and --

\-- broke free.

Edward's look of glee melted into one of horror. Then he bolted out the door, Oswald hot on his heels.

"Yeah, you _better_ run!"


End file.
